So it seems there is always something holding me back – something that keeps me from reaching that pinnacle of accomplishment. That something takes on various forms: laziness, selfishness, comfort, pride, vanity, apathy – you name it, I’m sure it’s reared its ugly head.

Every once in a while I’ll feel convicted and focus again, confident to meet success, to establish this new habit and to conquer my flesh.  But it seems old habits die hard….and did I mention my old self is lazy?  And the excuses are convenient and enticing.

“I’m busy. I’ve got kids to spend time with, meals to cook, sleep to get.”
“I’ll get to it someday.”
“It’s okay, I’ll just ask Cody when I have a question. That’s why he has a degree.”

These “reasons” are all cliché justifications. (I have a knack for reapportioning responsibility…it’s the prideful part I mentioned above.)

However, this time the Lord got my attention unlike ever before.  I was having a reflective moment – sort of a day dream of what is to come (10-20 years down the road).  My husband has an anointed calling. The Lord uses him for great things, which means I get to go along for the ride.  I am honored to be his helpmate, so I don’t have to be as disciplined, right?

Actually, quite the opposite.

The Lord spoke to the deep parts of my heart.  He let me know that my role is just as important as Cody’s and that I needed to be ready, in and out of season. His favor and blessing are upon our lives, and it’s important that I steward the call with responsibility.  More tangibly, that meant, “You need to read my Word more.”

Ouch.

That hurts.

But it was undeniably true…so, I have to make a change.  My priorities will reflect my first love, first.  I’m going to be more intentional about spending time with God, when I’m at my best – not just my leftover time or with sleep still in my eyes.  This discipline must be refined in my life, and I’m enthusiastically pursuing it.  The time is now, not 10 or 20 years down the road.

I’m keeping this scripture close:

Keep my commands and you will live;
Guard them as the apple of your eye.
Bind them on your fingers;
Write them on the tablet of your heart.
Proverbs 7:2-3

What disciplines need to be reformed in your life?

What wake-up call has the Lord given you lately?

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Deborah Winkler is the DIrector of Heartline Women’s Clinic, a ministry of Trinity Church.

I’ve been meditating on a scripture recently that I find particularly inspiring to me as we usher in the Christmas season.

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”

Psalm 143:10

This is a time of year when we can get caught up in so much.  Schedules, parties, events, and gifts all seem to take over our life.  We can feel strung out, tired, and lose all joy in celebrating the birth of Christ…or maybe it’s just me.  :)

So when I read this scripture, it prompted a few things in my heart that I’ve been focusing on.

1. I always need to be on the lookout for a spiritual lesson, in every season.  I want to be teachable, moldable for the Potter.  I want the Lord to show me His divine plans and appointments for my life, not what my calendar says.
2. God is God.  The holiday season can be a difficult time for many individuals.  I remember my grandmother passing away 5 years ago on Christmas Eve.  I was very pregnant (if that makes sense) with Josiah and could not attend the funeral 2,000 miles away.  At the time, it seemed very unfair.  But God is just and had a purpose.  When we begin to question situations or circumstances, we lose our focus.  Because the answers never satisfy us – only faith and trust in the Lord will.  So I want my faith to be increased to trust God more and share that hope with others.
3. I want my life to be more Spirit led.  I want more of the Holy Spirit to infiltrate me and overflow into whatever I’m doing.  That means when I’m waiting in line at the grocery store, or going to a Christmas party, or making another meal for a special event.  In whatever I put my hands to, I want the Spirit to guide me.
4. When I envision level ground, I feel stable, secure, and safe.  If I’m on level ground, I cannot be shaken.  If I maintain my focus on Jesus, my feet will not be moved.  The safety in knowing Jesus Christ as my Savior cannot be manufactured by anything else this world tries to offer.  That’s a beautiful thing.

So here are some things to ponder…

What spiritual lessons are you being shown during this Christmas season?

How do you face unfair situations?

Is your life Spirit led?

Do you have your feet on level ground?

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Deborah Winkler is the DIrector of Heartline Women’s Clinic, a ministry of Trinity Church.

When it’s all said and done, our children will be the most valuable inheritance we pass on.  I’m thankful to have parents and in-laws who understood this concept and poured into mine and Cody’s lives.  They took hold of a deep call to raise children who loved the Lord, and now we have the privilege of passing down that heritage to our children.

So I’ve come up with a little ditty about inheritance in honor of my father-in-law – because he LOVES acrostics.  These are important aspects to our relationship with our children – things we pray they inherit.

I  Integrity – this is a taught trait best learned when it is seen in action.  To be people of character means we are the same, everyday, honoring the Lord and others above ourselves, speaking truth, and never manipulating situations for our benefit.  It means admitting when you are wrong – a humbling part of parenting.

N  Name – the most noticeable inheritance is one’s name.  It’s not just a last name, but each of our children’s names was revealed to Cody and me by the Lord (even once when we were on different continents).  Our children’s middle names embody their strong family heritage.

H  Hope and Healing – this is the key to our family mission.  God has called us to bring hope and healing through the saving power of Jesus Christ.  Our children will not only be taught this value, but they will be involved in our pursuit of this call on our family.  We’re all in it together.

E  Exterior – our bodies, facial features, and even our smiles pass down a legacy.  When a baby is born, most onlookers want to weigh in on who the child resembles.  We love to determine who has whose smile.

Joshua and Josiah helping G-Pops and Cody with Christmas lights, a Winkler tradition.

R  Reciprocal – there is a mutual responsibility between the heir and the descendant.  There is purpose and intentionality to our relationship.  Our relationship with our children grows because it’s being nurtured on both sides.

I  Imago Dei – it’s the confidence that God has creatively designed us in His image for His glory.  As a family, we will make God the center as we encourage everyday faith that honors Him.  Sanctification is a process, and we will strive toward our greater calling as heirs with Christ Jesus.

T  Traditions – some of the greatest memories come from family traditions.  These are passed down, created, and honored by our family.  It’s part of our livelihood and uniquely defines our family.

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Deborah Winkler is the DIrector of Heartline Women’s Clinic, a ministry of Trinity Church.

In August Josiah began Pre-Kindergarten at Trinity Christian School.  I would like to consider myself an involved parent, and being our first experience with school (vs. daycare), I found myself a little concerned.

Would Josiah’s teacher be understanding?

Would Josiah understand the expectations of the classroom?

Would Josiah thrive?

Would Josiah feel comfortable and affirmed?

For some reason, I thought only I could meet his specific needs even though I was familiar with his teachers, the school’s administration, the classroom and teaching style.  It was great to find out many of his friends would be in class with him.  We met his teacher, Mrs. Leaverton, visited the classroom and felt prepared as we dropped him off for his first day of school.

A week went by and Josiah LOVED every part of school.  He came home ready to retell his entire day.  He was enthralled with learning, singing, and being in school.  I was such a proud mom!  He was handling change better than I had anticipated.

One day, at the dinner table, Josiah began to tell me a story of why he had a band-aid on his leg.  I can’t even remember what happened to cause his minor injury, but I do remember what he said.

“Mom, Mrs. Leaverton would be so proud of me.”

One simple and profound statement from my eldest son.  Mrs. Leaverton would be proud of him to have a band-aid?  Not really something I would expect to hear, but his words spoke to me deeply.

In the midst of all the anxiety I had for my son, because I thought he somehow wouldn’t survive Pre-Kindergarten, Josiah had transitioned smoothly.  And it hit me like a ton of bricks – he had a cheerleader that championed him through this new season and empowered him to be successful (besides me).  It was Mrs. Leaverton.  She had spoken sweet encouragement to my son, who is fueled by words of affirmation.

As I’ve watched Mrs. Leaverton interact with Josiah and his classmates, I have been beyond impressed by her patience and kind words.  Mrs. Leaverton has exuded charity with Josiah when he chooses to disobey (like the numerous times he decides to ignore the rules of rest time). She shows the type of patience the Lord must have for us.  I’m challenged to show affirmation and encouragement to EVERYONE because of her example.

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Deborah Winkler is the Director of Heartline Women’s Clinic, a ministry of Trinity Church.

So how is Josiah doing with rest time?   Josiah has received several tallies (discipline notes) for not being still on his mat, for scooting his mat next to another friend to chat, for moving and talking during rest time.  Consistency when addressing it is most important and Mrs. Leaverton has done a great job!

What is Josiah’s favorite part of school?   “To play with work toys.” He loves the hands on learning.

Do you find it easy or difficult to speak affirmation and encouragement to others?   I find it to be challenging because I don’t take the time to do it.  This is a lesson that the Lord has continually revealed to me over the past several months.  My words are powerful, and I can choose to bring life or death.  It’s my responsibility to listen and obey the Holy Spirit when He prompts me to speak LIFE.

Fall 2002

Dear Deborah,

As it stands, you are a sophomore at Hardin-Simmons University.  You are studying political science and very unsure how that will play out in your future.  Take advantage of every opportunity to learn, intern, and educate yourself.  Remain confident that God will use this to bring Him glory.  It is part of a bigger picture: saving the lives of unborn children.

Your parents recently divorced.  This is how you will experience God’s faithfulness.  His grace is sufficient, so forgive your parents.  Love your parents.  Don’t let the enemy rob you of a relationship with them.  God will redeem what you think is lost.  You think your life has been turned upside down, but oh how you are wrong.  Your life is anchored in the chief Cornerstone.  Your faith will be strengthened, your resolve awakened.  Continue to trust Him.  He’s preparing an extraordinary man for you; more than you could ever ask or imagine.

You are serving at Beltway Park and involved with children’s ministry.  You always hear the staff talking about Trinity Church in Lubbock.  One day, you will call Trinity home.

You love working in the nursery, and that’s good – you’re going to have a few babies (and even adopt).  Your children are going to be very close in age.  This means you will be challenged to steward each child with patience, grace, and wisdom from the Lord.  It’s going to stretch you, but will fulfill the deepest parts of your heart.  Even when you think you’ve given all you can, continue to shower your kids with affection, attention, and spiritual principles.  They grow up fast.

Your church family has embraced you.  You have been brought into their lives and loved well.  They encourage you, inspire you, and provide community.  At a prayer meeting on a Wednesday night, an elder will prophetically speak that you are being equipped to lead women.  There will be times in your life that you feel this prophecy coming to fruition – but just wait, God always has more.

God is training you to will live out His purpose for your life.  Pray often, savor the Word of God, and train your ear to hear His voice.

Significant lessons to look for:

Love people.  Take time to be interested in others and meet their needs.  This life is really not about you, but God will use you.

Be a good friend.  Don’t be lazy with relationships that God places in your life.  You really do need others.

Say yes to the things of God.  It’s ok to dream big – you don’t have to fear failure.  God doesn’t desire perfection from His children.  Serve from a heart that loves Him and you will reap excellence.

Kiss your husband often – as if you were on your first date

Sincerely,

Your not quite 30 year-old self

P.S. On September 19, 2012, you will receive your first traffic ticket.  You will be devastated and deny any wrong doing.  Somewhere in there, you’ll find a lesson.

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Deborah Winkler is the Director of Heartline Women’s Clinic, a ministry of Trinity Church.