When you kiss frogs, to be completely honest, they are probably not turning into princes.
Here is the story of Rachel at age 20.
It was my junior year in college and I was ready to spend my semester abroad at the University of Reading in Reading, England. My parents were super nervous to send their boy-crazy daughter over there. As they should have been. Little did they know that I had decided my future husband was in Reading, England just waiting for me.
So I hopped over the pond and hit the ground in man-hunting-mode. Oh, I mean church hunting! But it was the funniest thing. Every single man I had a conversation with ending up telling me, almost immediately, about some chronic family illness they had, about their crazy family, or how all they never wanted to settle down. After three weeks, I remember thinking, “Don’t these boys know they are being interviewed to be my forever someone?!”
I finally got a date with a boy to see the latest James Bond movie. But I soon realized it was going nowhere when he turned to me and said, “I am so sorry, but I absolutely have to use the loo…I am so constipated…nachos, right?” Oh, such romantic guys.
So I was getting to my wit’s end and finally decided to go out with my residence hall to a pub. They had been “pub-hopping” every night since they arrived, and I thought it might be good idea to be social. I arrived and after being asked by three different men to make out, I was ready to go. But then a guy from my hall named Alex came up with a spare drink in hand and held it towards me. I kindly declined and said, “I am sorry. I don’t drink.” He laughed and responded with, “I know…it’s Diet Coke! For the American who doesn’t drink.” Then I looked at him and thought…someone who actually listens? He hasn’t told me of any chronic illnesses… so let’s see where this leads.
I quickly got tired of the club scene so instead I spent my nights doing homework, reading Twilight, and watching Friends. while my entire hall kept going out every night. But I noticed that Alex started coming home early, just to keep me company. I wish the story ended there, that I could say we became the best of friends and exchange Christmas cards even now. But alas, my mission got in the way.
I wasn’t attracted to him; he wasn’t the Christian man who could lead my household; he didn’t have many aspirations in life. But he liked me and he cared…that was enough, right? I decided I would make it enough. Then two years later we sat outside of Olive Garden and had one of the messiest breakups I have ever experienced. I broke his heart and led him on for so long. But I thought if I just waited, the feeling of love would come. Or the feeling that he is “not the one” would just fade away. But it didn’t…and I secretly knew it wouldn’t.
And the funny thing is I ended up dating a guy two months later who became my husband. A guy who I had become friends with 11 months earlier. God had a plan, a perfect plan. But I had my goals and agendas and had decided to take the wheel.
That relationship with Alex ended with a lot of heartache and regret. But I learned so much from that experience, both good and bad, that helped me become the person I am today.
February is the month of love, but don’t make the same mistakes I have.
If he isn’t the one…don’t try to make him the one. Trust in God’s plan, his perfect plan for your life.