You celebrated your 23rd wedding anniversary this past weekend! How did you and Pastor Carl celebrate the occasion?
When you are in ministry, you realize early on that things don’t stay in the 8-5 realm. You commit to a lifestyle. We actually took a couple out to lunch that day. You see, they were leaving town and that was the date that worked. Of course, we planned ahead and celebrated on Friday night. JT was able to join us. It was special as usual.
What do you remember most about your wedding day?
Ha – I just chuckled. It was actually a pretty stressful day. I remember washing off my make-up and reapplying it as fast as I could. It made me arrive a little later than I wanted to. Why did I say yes to the sweet make-up artist, and why didn’t she leave right away? I will also say that family dynamics were interesting…to put it nicely. Makes me laugh now. Our guests were probably busy talking after they left. Oh well.
Did you go on a honeymoon? Where did you go?
That made me chuckle as well. We had a romantic trip planned to Ouray, Colorado. My newlywed husband told me that we should visit the Urgent Care prior to leaving town. I didn’t know that he was not 100%. On the first night of our stay, he was on fire (I mean literally – FEVER). His young bride was not sure what to do. I prayed a lot that night and kept putting ice-filled cloths on him. Long night! We came home early, because he could not walk due to an infection that had settled in his leg from a small cut. CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?
What has been the most rewarding part of being married? The most challenging?
Most rewarding: That we have served God since the very beginning. The day we were engaged, he shared his heart with me (his vision), I felt so special. We have been busy fulfilling it ever since. Of course, bringing two awesome boys into this world is the icing on the cake.
The most challenging: Living in a fishbowl. I will be honest –there have been times that I wanted to sit on the last row of the church instead of the first (especially the times when Carl and I just had a spat). There have been times that I wanted to wear jeans like everyone else. Also, just being honest about all of my feelings has been another challenge as well (communication). Why is it so hard to be humble instead of prideful?
In what ways would you say the two of you have shaped each other over the years?
I would say that I was a serious Jesus-project for the early part of our marriage. I was so insecure and Carl was… well, so Godly. He challenged me, to the core of my being, without saying a word. He prayed and read God’s word more than anyone I knew, or probably know. Where would I be without Jesus and Carl Toti? As for me influencing him, I guess I would say…oooohhhh –that’s a hard one!
Beautiful!!! You were the first and strongest example of Christian marriage I had as a young Christian!! Thank you for modeling commitment – it made me desire God’s best for my life!!
Terisa, I hear you say that, and I sit back and wonder. It must have been God, or you were focusing on what Carl did for me. I was so undone back then…well, I still am in so many ways. So thankful that God is so patient with all of us.
I am still amazed at how God orchestrated all that He did in our lives, as in, you and the Toti’s crossing paths. You will always be our little spiritual girl…no matter how old you get.
We love you VERY MUCH Terisa Blunt Clark.
I am so thrilled to see you living your dream with your dreams(Josh and Katie)
I recently started to go to Trinity thanks to my boyfriend as I was born and raised a catholic. I do have to say that you seem to be a very classy Christian woman, a role model to me and with the modern family sermons it’s like I have to wear a hard hat as my boyfriend and I just moved in together 3 months ago after having a 3 year long distant relationship. I do have to say that Trinity has quenched the thirst that I have been looking for.I see myself getting married at Trinity but we said we would try a year living together 1st. I know it goes against what Pastor Carl has been talking about. I do look forward to Sunday’s just to make it to church on time and it’s even better when my boyfriend goes with me of his work permits.
Sirina, thank you for taking the time to make this connection with me. I want to say thank you for the kind words that you have spoken. I wake up every morning and ask God to help me be a positive role model to women of all ages.
I hear the disappointment in your words and I want to say that we never want to hurt anyone. We just want to be obedient to uphold what God has outlined in His word. I know that life is hard at times. God sees you and does not condemn you. We are so glad that you are coming. Just because you are not able to accept everything at this point in your life does not disqualify you from coming to church. Keep coming and keep learning. God is at work in your life.
God makes the rules and when we follow His lead, we are blessed beyond our wildest imagination.
I recently started coming to Trinity about 3-4 months ago as well. I was also born and raised Catholic. Me and my boyfriend were supposed to get married by the Catholic church but then someone said something to him and made him not want to go back to my previous church. I felt like I was forced to make a decision between my church or my boyfriend. For the first time in my life I chose something/someone other than my church/religion and that is why we are now attending Trinity. So far we both like it at Trinity. I love listening to Pastor Carl’s preachings and admire the strength and love relationship you two have. Me and my boyfriend have been living together for a year now and I am so ready to be married by the church but he says after hearing Pastor Carl’s preaching this past Sunday, he wants to marry a Godly woman and I’m not Godly enough because I dont read my bible? Growing up as a Catholic, I never got into the Word other than on Sundays. I am trying to read my bible but dont I dont get anything out of it. I am also very insecure and my boyfriend was… well, like you said about Carl, so Godly. My boyfriend read’s God’s word more than anyone I know. I want to save my relationship. What advise would you give me before it’s too late?
Jessica, welcome to the blog and welcome to Trinity. I am glad to hear that you love listening to the preaching, so do I. The word of God has been foundational in our marriage….I guess I should say, acting upon what we have learned. We proved to ourselves that we are undone without His help. Both Carl and I had our share of bad decisions before God redirected our lives. I am so thankful that God continues to coach us and show us how to honor Him in the way we live today.
I am glad to hear that you want to honor God in your relationship, sounds like God is coaching you too because you are seeking Him. As Carl talked about on Sunday, convenient love is not God’s design for any of His children. It is covenant love that makes a relationship stand the test of time.
What I am about to say may not be what you want to hear, but I am going to be honest. The foundation that your relationship is built upon is not healthy. Living together is convenient and the world would say it is okay. But God on the other hand, would say it is not right. He may even call it a shortcut. I don’t say that to make you feel bad, I say that to show you how much you are valued.
There is a story in the Bible about ‘the woman at the well’. Jesus made his way to a certain town just to be able to talk to this woman face to face – we don’t even know her name. He had seen her lifestyle (you see, she was living with a man and she was not married to him). Jesus didn’t condemn her, He reached out to her in a beautiful way). He honored her and I believe God is doing the same with you today.
My advise would be to get married… or break off the relationship until your boyfriend is willing to commit to you for who you are and not what you do or don’t do. You are a prized possession in God’s eyes! Continue to feed the relationship of relationships….the one with your Lord. He keeps His promises. Whether you read your Bible or not, He loves you dearly.
I would love to talk with you. Call the church or come up to me on Sunday.
First of all, congratulations on many years of marriage and second, thank you both for being the Godly couple that you are. I see the love and care you have for us (Trinity) because you have been obedient in what God would have you say and preach. The Modern family series has been AWESOME! We should be challenged as Christians to continue to grow and sometimes it can be hard for a pastor to preach on certain issues. My husband and I have been saved for 10 years now. We recently celebrated our 14 year anniversary on August 8th. God restored our marriage and we continue to rely on Him to keep it together! I thank God for you both and I foresee revival at Trinity because of you and Pastor Carl’s willingness! Thank you soo much and I hold your family in prayer!
Christina, that is so beautiful. God is able to restore our lives in a beautiful way. He is so patient with us.
Congratulations to the Martinez Family! Thanks for sharing your story with us.
This whole series has been difficult for me in many ways. I have had 3 serious relationships that have all lasted a number of years, one was abusive, the other I thought we belonged together, but only one resulted in marriage. We were married in the Catholic church that we both belonged to. And since I was brought up believing that once you married in the Church, it was forever, I was devastated when it ended in divorce. I looked for answers over and over but never found any. I have been a member of Trinity for about 4 months now and have found more of a peace than I have ever known. Pastor Carl really speaks Gods words in a way that reaches you down below the surface. I still find myself wondering if I will ever find “the one” or if I am capable of even loving anymore. The more we go thru the Modern Family series, the more I want that good Christian man for my kids and grandkids, but does he exist anymore? I know Pastor Carl says its ok to be single as well, that it may be Gods calling for us, but I’m not certain I want to be single forever. But I’m also not certain I want to chance another hurt. I trust God in my life, I’m just afraid of what it is that he has in store for my love life.
Michelle, thank you for sharing your heart today…I know that requires courage. I am sorry to hear that you have experienced an abusive relationship. That is never God’s design for any relationship. I am glad that you are safe.
Well, as you can tell, God has heard the cry of your heart. I am glad that He sent you to Trinity Church. It’s amazing how much power the Word of God has in our lives. I once was an attender who needed help, and God knew it. I came faithfully to church. I began to hear things that I had never heard before. Jesus began to unravel the knots in my soul. It is evident that God is doing the same in your life. I would suggest that you take one day at a time. God knows what He is doing with you. Continue to trust Him.
Read your Bible. He is not done with you or your life. Ps 37:4 says: “Delight yourself in Him and He will grant you the desires of your heart”
Jesus is your man and He has your back! Start setting special time aside to meet with your DATE!
He will change you from the inside out and you will look back and wonder how He did it. Dream again dear daughter of God. He hears every prayer of yours. Pray like you have never prayed before and watch God heal you… one day at a time. Get in a life group and see what else God has in store for you!
Gloria,
Thank you for being so transparent and real for all of us women! Many times I look at women in ministry and think to myself, “she has it all together, why can’t I do like she does!” Honestly Gloria! I have thought that about you! You are such an amazing woman of God and a wonderful role model for me and all of the women of Trinity! Believe me if you wore your jeans we wouldn’t mind one bit! I love you and miss you Gloria. Thank you for always making me feel important and welcoming with open arms every time you see me, even though it isn’t often enough.
Ha – “why can’t I do what she does”….
You know how many times I have said that with regards to people in my circle of influence?
I am convinced more than ever that we are all supposed to occupy only one lane…we must stop trying to run in the lanes of all those other pink humans. Our lane is sufficient…and in reality, we all have our own issues we are working out. Let’s not pretend otherwise…
Why do we think than there is such as a thing as an easy life? Life is an awesome struggle. We must remember to rely on Him, or we are going to get disappointed and stop trying.
You are an awesome gal…I am glad to have met you. Come say hello sometime…when are you going to start leading again? Don’t give up on your dreams Ms. Leader!!!