Last Wednesday, I did something that took a lot of courage. I gave my backstory—as in my testimony.  Gloria asked me to share it during our life group and my head and heart were saying two different things. My head kept saying no, and God kept telling me yes. I overcame a major fear. After overcoming that fear, I felt that it should go beyond the group. I heard God telling me go further. With much prayer, I have decided to share it here on the blog.

I was born September 28, 1989 in Gainesville, Florida.  My birth was surrounded with the word “surprise”.  My parents thought they were having one child but God had an entirely different plan. My twin sister, Kellie, and I were 3 months premature. She was in the hospital for 3 months whereas I had to be there for 6 months. My dad came to the hospital day and night to be with us and then me. After six, long months, I went home and stayed with my mom while my dad drove for a living to support us.

At the age of 2, my mom decided to abandon us. I took Kellie down a two-story apartment complex and walked to our grandmother’s home a few blocks away. Being terrified, I knocked on the door. She immediately opened the door and questioned why we were there. She called mom and no answer. She then continued to call dad. Dad, being on the road, had to quit his job and come home to care for us. He then decided to take mom to court for full custody. She never showed. I always told myself “no one cares about me. Mom didn’t want us and dad had to do it.” Until one day God told me, “Your dad loves you! He does it because he wants to; not because he has to.”

About 2 years later, my dad met a very nice woman and married her. We then moved to Lexington, Kentucky and became a family. My new mom was unable to have children so she raised us up as her own.  I had a mom again.

Life went on and Dad went back on the road to support us. My new mom worked at Wendy’s.

A couple of years later, dad decided he needed to be close to home.  He gave up driving for a living. He and mom worked hard long hours to just make ends meet. We were either at the local school, our aunt’s home, or home alone. We didn’t see mom or dad too much. Several years went by and dad found a new job at Michael’s working 8-5 and home on the weekends and mom worked where she could to be home more. We were starting to be a family again.

But then, Dad had a midlife crisis. He and my mom split up for a while. He found his girlfriend from High School and they hooked up. A few months later, her 20 year old son molested a 12 year old girl; me. After court hearings and foster care for about 8 months, my dad had a decision to make. Get back with my mom or lose his daughters. He and mom got back together.

In 2003, Michael’s transferred my dad to Fort Worth, TX. A few years later I graduated and went to College.  During college I thought I met the man of my dreams on Christian Mingle. I graduated college and married him 1 1/2 years later. Right after we said I dos, I was pregnant. My son came 2 months early and spent that time in NICU.  I found myself battling depression in 2014 and still find myself in some of those battles – but I am not giving up. Yes, I have taken medication and I am doing great!

When life starts out on loose footing for young children, it’s hard not to get caught in the crosshairs of life.  I will say we are given an opportunity to learn to fight with a different intensity, and we learn it’s a journey. Each stage of life allows us to rise in areas that will stretch us.  Jerry (my son) also tested our faith in God and each other and so far we’ve made it.

Around the turn of this new year, God made Kyle into the man that I didn’t even know to dream of.  God has blessed us with great jobs and a great home with potential to show God’s glory. We are as happy as can be.

I say all this to say, you may look at me and think I am a happy go lucky person. After I got saved and baptized in 2007, God showed me a powerful verse. Prov. 3:5-6

When you feel like your down in the dumps and lost your way, remember God is always there to direct your paths.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if God hadn’t directed me.  Propel me God into everything you have for me – your servant is willing.