“Come sit with me.”
“Let’s grab coffee.”
“I want to hear your story. I’d love the opportunity to share mine.”
“I see you.”
“I hear you.”
“You’re safe.”
“I want to understand…”
Those are the things I wish I could say after a former student found offense at a post I had recently re-shared. I ended up removing the post because I felt my heart would be lost in transmission if I engaged in dialogue. There were too many miles, too much time had passed, and she didn’t know that what she said carried weight and broke my heart. The more I processed her comment, the more I could see the hurt and offense she carried from life…chapters of her story that I have long missed.
As we process all the hurt our country has faced in the past few weeks through heartbreaking violence, and as the temperature of Americans continues to rise, offense is being forged in the fires. There’s a phrase that has been echoing in my spirit today…”offended and loved.” So many today are living with offense over a word, action, or perceived threat due to the lens of their worldview and experience. But each are deeply loved by a Father who saw them long before they existed. If I can capture His heart…I can set a table for dialogue with love.
The apostle Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 16:14 “Let all you do be done with love.” So how can I set the table for those in my world who may be offended and loved?
First, I can prepare by taking every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5) I can realize not every thought comes from the Father, and I can ask Jesus for His heart and how He sees the situation and individual.
Second, I can take it back to Jesus in prayer. I can realize my battle is not with another, but against a very real enemy (Ephesians 6:12). I can surrender worry and pray into the situation and for the person (Philippians 4:5-6), allowing God’s peace and wisdom to lead and guide me.
Third, I can cast an invitation and listen to understand. There’s something called “the ministry of presence…” Sometimes all that is needed is for someone to sit and listen. And when we listen, we should listen to understand; too often, we listen to respond. So much would change in communication if instead of being ready for a fight, we truly listened to try to understand where the other person was coming from. We need to be ready to listen…with no agenda, just a heart to connect and love.
Lastly, I need to ask Jesus and Holy Spirit to help me love. Jesus said, “They will know you are my disciples…if you love.” (John 13:34-35) So, how can we set the table and help others know they are seen and loved? I’d love to hear your story. Let’s come to the table with love…
