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When I was raising my children, I often reminded myself of Dr. Dobson’s words encouraging us to pick our battles wisely.

At that time those words spoke to me about room cleaning; chore doing; curfew times; etc., etc.  You get the gist.  But what do they speak about to me today?

I was reading in 2 Samuel 20 and those very words – “Pick your battles wisely” – once again resounded in my head.  No they were not written on the page but they were written by example.  You see, King David and his army were about to lay siege to a city when a wise woman climbed to the top of the city wall and asked to speak to King David.  (How gutsy was that – but perhaps another blog another day.)  Nevertheless, King David came forward to listen as she asked why he was about to destroy their city.

This was a defining moment for King David.  Would he pick his battles wisely?  Was he really angry at ALL the people within the city walls or did he just want to destroy Sheba – the one who betrayed him?  David considered carefully and then responded.  It was really only Sheba that he wanted to destroy.

The wise woman spoke to the people within the walls and they offered up the head of Sheba to King David.  The City was spared! He accomplished his purpose without allowing his anger to cause all kinds of residual damage.

So what is this example saying to us?

Personally, I have often allowed my agitation over one thing or one person to become an all-out war that affected my whole household.  Or, I chose to start a battle that was actually counterproductive to my end goal.  For instance:  I wanted more peace and quiet in my home – so I went around SLAMMING doors and YELLING for everyone to be quiet!!!

You laugh – but it is SO true.

Do we want to win the battle or win the war?  And what, specifically, is the war we want to win?  If it is the war we actually want to win then we must plan strategically.  Like David, we must consider what it is that we really want to accomplish.  Then we must decide the most effective way to reach that goal – even if it involves compromise or approaching it from a different perspective.  

1 Corinthians 13 tells us that love is the most excellent way. So, ask the Lord, what would genuine love look like in this situation?  (Trust me, this is not a wimpy approach. It can be very bold!)

Asking God to help us see the person or the situation through His eyes can bring revelation and often resolution without even going into battle.  But as we pray – LISTEN and then TRUST that He will order our footsteps and show us the best strategy.

My friends, want to win in life?  Partner with God and pick your battles wisely.

Nita Kuehn