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Kris had been encouraging (read: begging) me to purchase a nicer phone. One that didn’t kick me out of apps or turn off my ringer randomly. At last, I decided to spring for a new phone. And by new I mean new to me, used by someone else.

From everything I read, it seemed a Motorola brand would best fit my needs. It sounded like my dream phone. Kris found one on Ebay, listed as “gently used”.  The seller stated that he’d only owned it for a week and had used it solely as a demo for a review; to his knowledge, it was in perfect working condition. When it arrived, it appeared brand new, still in the original box. I charged it fully and transferred my data.

Over the next few days, some unusual behavior developed. I did hours of troubleshooting, until finally, I discovered an official forum for Motorola owners. Every symptom pointed to the most dreaded diagnosis: the motherboard was compromised. While replacing a screen, or even a charging port is considered fairly simple and relatively inexpensive, replacing a motherboard is the very opposite, and it’s usually recommended that the phone be replaced entirely. My dream phone turned out to be a nightmare. Devastated, I purchased another “prepaid phone” and placed the Moto back in its box.

A year passed and the prepaid phone struggled more and more to keep up with me This time, my husband, mom, and brother all approached me separately: please buy a new phone. An *actual* new phone. The three conversations were nearly identical:

“You never buy anything for yourself,”

“You always make yourself wait,”

“You always settle for something cheap so you can splurge on other people”.

I found myself researching phones and came across one I’d not heard of before. This time, I ordered it brand new. After its arrival, I waited with dread for problems to arise, as they always did. Days, weeks, months. Nothing. It’s the most reliable phone I’ve ever owned, and its features fit my needs better than anything that came before.

In reflection, I wonder how many times in our lives we place ourselves in similar situations. Over phones, jobs, romantic interests. We want what we want, even if it’s second-hand, even if everyone around us is saying we deserve something better. The craziest part is that God, because He loves us so much, allows us to have free will and all those things not meant for us so that after we experience the disappointment and frustration of our desires not measuring up to our expectations, we are able to fully appreciate what He *actually* meant for us to have. Friend, what have you been chasing after, or settling with, because somewhere in your heart you’ve decided you’re not worth the extra time, effort, money, etc.? Your Father thinks you’re worth it. Open your hands and let go of what was meant as a lesson. Then you’ll be free to receive your blessing.

You are loved.

~Brianna Richardson